Thursday, July 24, 2008

Discerning class

Some Americans like to think that their society is free of class distinctions. Of course that's untrue. In fact, you can often determine somebody's class from the first thing that they say to you. Imagine for instance that you're at a party and you catch a man staring at your breasts. How he handles the situation will immediately give away his class:

Working class: Nice tits. Can I get you a beer?

Middle class: Nice blouse. Can I get you a martini?

Upper class: Nice tits. Who's your surgeon?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Known to the state

WARNING: Carl Zetie may contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects or other reproductive harm

Thursday, July 17, 2008

600th anniversary of a little known tragedy

Today is the 600th anniversary of a little-known tragedy in the history of the Catholic church that modern scientific knowledge could have averted. In the late 14th and early 15th centuries the Catholic church was riven by rival Popes and Antipopes, but few know the story of an attempt at reconciliation that took place in 1408. On this date, the rival pope and antipope came together at a neutral location on the French/Swiss border to discuss the schism.

Unfortunately, without the benefit of 20th century physics, nobody could have foreseen what happened next. As soon as they met, the pope and antipope mutually annihilated, releasing a blast of energy that destroyed the surrounding countryside and killed all in attendance. The church quickly covered up this traumatic loss, and it would be another decade before the papal lines were reunified.

In an amazingly coincidental footnote, what now stands on that spot is... the Large Hadron Collider!

Monday, July 07, 2008

Like father, unlike son?

When you're the president of an international sporting federation and a British tabloid newspaper accuses you of taking part in a Nazi-themed sadomasochistic orgy with five prostitutes, it's never a good thing when your strongest rebuttal is to deny that any Nazi costumes were involved.

It also doesn't help when your father was the notorious wartime leader of the British Fascist party who supported Hitler's policies.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Really, really disturbing

If you asked who I thought the most attractive female on TV or in movies today was, I'd have to go with this vegetable.

No, the one on the left.

Yeah, I know. Disturbing.