New Year's Resolutions for the new decade

Here are my resolutions for the next decade. I offer no attempt to explain these other than in their own words: poetry must either speak for itself, or not at all.

1. I will take the road less traveled (Frost, paraphrased)

2. O for ten years, that I may overwhelm/Myself in poesy; so I may do the deed/That my own soul has to itself decreed (Keats)

3. We must love one another and die. (Auden)

An alternative view on "Avatar": Is Jake Sully the villain?

There's a disturbing undercurrent in Avatar that's largely gone unremarked. Jake Sully, the soldier who "goes native", is at first glance the hero. In this sense, Avatar is part of a long movie tradition of white men who come to appreciate, side with, and ultimately cross over to the "other": compare, most obviously, Dances With Wolves and Lawrence of Arabia.

But there's a darker subtext to this theme. It's an enduring and unpleasant truth that rich, powerful white men always take what the "natives" have, whether its oil or land, and that is certainly the obvious message in Avatar. But Sully takes something even more precious from the Na'vi: their identity. Becoming them might be the most rapacious form of taking of all. Either Cameron missed this point, or he is being even more subtly subversive than most people have noticed.

Block That Metaphor

Joe Theismann, talking about the Redskins' latest debacle:

"It feels like we're swimming an uphill battle."

Environmentalism

I was stuck behind a guy in a Prius this morning with his bumper covered with sanctimonious bullet points. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of fuel-efficient hybrid vehicles in theory. It just seems that in practice, the reduced emission of smog is more than offset by the increased emission of smug.

Anyway, this particular driver had a sticker saying "Overpopulation: #1 environmental problem." And it struck me: people who say this never seem to be willing to do anything about it personally.

A Final Thought On Creationism and Intelligent Design

I have decided that I'm done with the topics of creationism and intelligent design. I've tried parody. I've tried satire. I've even been victimized by Poe's Law.

So I've decided to attempt a reasonable compromise with Christian fundamentalists. I propose that we all agree that man evolved from apes, except in certain parts of the American South, where he hasn't. Does that seem reasonable?

Espresso Checkout Line

In a coffee shop the other day I was stuck in line behind somebody ordering a "venti double skinny mocha vanilla mumbo jumbo", or something. Which is a drink, it turns out.

That's when I decided that coffee shops should have an express line, for those of us that actually want to order coffee, with a large sign saying "Two Adjective Limit Per Customer".

Of course, if I were running a coffee shop it would only serve four drinks -- espresso, cappuccino, latte and macchiato. If you want something with flavored syrup or whipped cream, try the Dairy Queen.

Feeling older

Last week, somebody tweeted one of my blog posts.

I can remember when that wasn't even a sentence.