Saturday, April 18, 2009

Color Commentary

If you are male and not professionally employed in home decor or design, you can create a lasting positive impression on your wife/girlfriend/significant other with one simple trick:

Casually refer to some shade of red by a more specific name, such as "burgundy" or "claret".

For maximum effect, you should phrase the reference in the form of a question so that she can correct you. This allows her to simultaneously acknowledge your sensitivity and reaffirm her superiority in that regard.

IMPORTANT: The benefits of this stratagem will be entirely lost if she ever discovers that "burgundy and gold" or "claret and blue" are the commonly-referenced colors of your favorite football [sic] team.

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